19 Comments

Question. Have you learnt a memorable lesson from a time you 'failed'?

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Dozens. Leaving a PhD I hated without a clear plan but I was no good at it. Leaving a relationship which had its strengths but wasn't enough long term. On writing, I learned a lot from the first novel I wrote, and failed to get representation for. It was an apprentice piece, but I learned so much.

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Brilliant Stephen! They are all GREAT ones. And very open and honest of you, from all areas of your life. I can echo the writing a first novel... you learn more than you realise, but it's almost impossible to not get caught up in a goal / dream of publishing success as you write it. Brave to leave a relationship which wasn't working. Lots of people don't Stephen. Oooooooh, what was the title of your PhD? Be fascinated to hear Stephen

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Laser spectroscopy of negative ions. Grinding labwork, requiring physical deterity, and a wholly absent supervisor. A PhD has to be something you are massively interested in - my Dad was a brilliant supervisor in his own field and I didn't learn the lessons. So I leaped into comms instead.

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Wow Stephen! Sounds amazing, but tough. I'm a Humanties person, academic-wise. And I have some insight: Juliet, my wife, started a PhD before having to drop. She hit a period of ill health. It's a huge commitment

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Also, keep in mind that failures are not coincidences, everything happens for a reason, and usually the reason is for the best...if at all, that’s the main lesson we should learn...

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Think so too. Serendipity is the buzzword

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I wish I could avoid failure altogether, but since I'm human that's not going to happen. Now I begrudgingly accept that it's priceless in what it can offer us, and once the blushes/horror/embarrassment/pain have faded to bearable levels, our recovery from it should be celebrated.

I think it's brilliant that you're writing about failing. Stick to failing! (that doesn't sound right, sorry).

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Agree Sarah! 100%. And thank you for your Comment. Love it. Brightened my day! Thx Sarah!

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Pure Magic. 🪄

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Thx so much Suzy! So glad to read your Comment!

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This was a brilliant read, you got me hooked all the way through and a huge honor to be included at the end 🙏🏼

We certainly share the view on failures as being the greatest teacher... unexpectedly so perhaps as most spend their days avoiding to fail. I dare to say that all successes I’ve had in life have come from the pursuit of “failing fast” because the failures are inevitable and I want to get them out of the way so I can unlock whatever lies behind them

Excited to follow along! Great job 👏

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I'm so glad Elin!!! Thank you. What wonderful feedback and comments, and from you who does such an amazing job with your posts and newsletter. Well. Looking forward to talking more and seeing where the ride takes us! Thx Elin!

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I think looking at success and failure is helpful. I read it!

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Thank you Stephen! I am very glad to have you. And completely agree, it's a healthy conversation not had enough, from experience

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I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this idea and concept! My failures are too numerous to list here, but I prefer to look at them as my stubborn attempts at giving life the best shot. A failure I am most proud of: my failed marriage. It resulted in two extraordinary human beings (my daughters), and learning survival skills I never thought I'd have, including speaking French and renovating homes. And, my ex-husband and I have the best relationship now that we are divorced. Now he actually listens to me... :)

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Sorry to hear about your divorce although it helped you to reconnect with the father of your kids. I think it's wonderful that you have two kids and are kind to each other. My parents are divorced and it was a mess. Although it's two decades ago, even for their grandchildren they can't be in one room together. 💕 Life is better with love in it.

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And yes, life is always better with love in it!! 💕

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Sorry to hear that Kristina. My parents too had the worst divorce that resulted in my mum kidnapping us to Israel... which is why I think I insisted on putting our daughters first. My ex husband and I are two very different people, but luckily we agree on this. Our daughters (everybody actually) is doing much better since the divorce. Which is why I would also like to see some change around the narrative of divorce. Instead of saying “sorry for your divorce” I prefer, “congratulations on your divorce”! :) I hope we can get there one day. 🤗

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